ENERGY. POWDER. PROBLEMS.
A premium energy powder brand built by a human, calibrated by AI, and aimed directly at the soft, jittery heart of a $90B can industry. We're raising $2M to make Red Bull's lawyers nervous.
Every "innovation" since 1987 has been a new flavor of high-fructose nostalgia in a slightly different aluminum tube. BUFFED is the powder format, the brand voice, and the operating system that the next decade of energy will be built on. We're not iterating on the can; we're skipping it.
The middle is the moat. A brand humans actually love + an operations layer AI runs cheaper than any DTC team in the category. Liquid Death proved cans could be culture (they also copied our ad; we call this a Chekhov's gun in the business). We're proving powder can be a religion.
Liquid Death proved cans could be culture (they also copied our ad; we call this a Chekhov's gun in the business). BUFFED yells louder, weirder, and in a way that connects with humans. Skull-core, anti-can, allergic to sponsored-content energy.
No water weight. No aluminum. ~95% lower shipping cost per serving. Subscribe and the customer never runs out. A 12-pack of cans is a Tuesday; a tin of BUFFED is a habit. The format is the moat.
One operator, six-figure GMV, no agency. Klaviyo flows, Stay.ai subs, Shopify, creative loops, and now a BUFFED Bot. We don't talk about AI; we run on it. Margins reflect it.
Source: Shopify · all-time through June 2026. 662 returning customers = 22.6% of 2,930. Returning cohort placed 3,555 orders at ~$162 each = $162 repeat-cohort LTV.
22.6% repeat with minimum lifecycle activation. 97 active subscribers on Stay.ai and a Klaviyo stack we've barely flexed. We are sitting on a retention rocket with the safety still clicked on.
Five functional buckets working in stack. No filler, no fairy dust, no sugar-tax aftertaste. Every gram in the tin earns its keep.
Why: because "energy" should also mean "thinking".
Why: because nobody pays $45 to feel anxious.
Why: because skipping the headliner would be psychotic.
Why: we may or may not have more electrolytes than Prime. We're not a hydration drink; we just don't punish you for hydrating.
Why: because the cans only put one of these in.
Two flavors (flava flaaave): Venom Berry and Pineapple Thrash. Full nootropic-mushroom energy, barely being held in a stick pack and way too powerful for a can (literally). $443K in receipts and counting.
Lemon Rip. Designed to help people quit caffeine; whether that's forever or just in the afternoon. 10x the organic mushrooms and 3x the electrolytes compared to BUFFED. It's MEGA because only the hardest humans choose this over BUFFED, giving caffeine the middle digit.
We're 22 items from selling out. PUMP POWDA was created to turn your BUFFED into a jittery, tingly mess to make your face melt, veins pop, and muscles explode into god-like workouts. L-Citrulline, Beta-Alanine, Betaine.
Venom Berry and Pineapple Thrash were built to be polarizing; tart-sweet blue raspberry and dole-whip-meets-watermelon. Next up: neutral crowd-pleasers like Fruit Punch and Peach Mango to widen the wall without softening the brand.
Festivals, raves, gyms, combat sports. The brand becomes a physical presence; not just a Shopify line item. The world becomes a BUFFED world.
Sixteen years in ecommerce; founded two of my own companies (2011 and 2018) before this one. BUFFED is the one I'm not selling.
